Girl Talk Blog

Ask Katie – September Questions!

Katie,
I have a problem. I am going out with this guy and we have been together for a month. He told me he drinks alcohol, smokes pot, and chews tobacco. And he decided to ask my friend out behind my back. I am in over my head and don’t know what to do.
-In over my head

Dear In over my head,
The fact that you wrote in to me and are feeling as though you are “in over [your] head” shows that you know that this guy is bad news. You don’t want to be with someone who does drugs – you know they are bad (and illegal!). It’s only a matter of time before he gets into trouble by using them and if you are going out with him then you put yourself at risk of getting into trouble too – and you definitely don’t want that! Not to mention, he was disloyal to you! Don’t waste your time, girlfriend. He’s disloyal AND a drug user – neither of which make good boyfriend material. Do yourself a favor and dump this loser – he’s definitely not worth the time or trouble!
~Katie

Dear Katie,
How many glasses of alcohol does it take to get drunk? If you’re just a kid or teen does it take longer for you to get drunk than adults?
-Wondering

Dear Wondering,
There is no set amount of alcohol or length of time that determines drunkenness. Alcohol affects everyone differently. Additionally, there are many factors that affect intoxication including gender, body weight, type and number of drinks, the rate at which you drink, and whether or not you have food in your stomach. Alcohol does not discriminate by age which is why, if you are under 21, you should not drink at all. It is also why, if you are of age, drinking responsibly is so important. For more information about just this question, visit The Century Council’s Ask. Listen. Learn: Kids and Alcohol Don’t Mix website here.
~Katie

Dear Katie,
There is this guy that I really, really like. He’s all that a girl should be looking for in a guy. But a bunch of girls from my school started a rumor about us going out. I’m 1 1/2 years younger than him, so it’s not like we’re actually going out. He thinks I’m too young for him, but he likes me. And I’m not allowed to date. What do I DO!?!?
-Guy troubles

Dear Guy troubles,
Get to know him as a friend. Wait until you are allowed to date before you worry about dating him. By then you will have been friends with him for a while and taking that next step to date him will be much easier – and he might feel more comfortable about the age difference as you both get older!
~Katie

Dear Katie,
Just in this past year 2 people from my school died from alcohol-related accidents. Everyday their friends walk the halls that they walked and sit where they used to sit. But it seems like no one even realizes that they died from alcohol. And all those people who were with them the nights that they died are still drinking! I don’t understand it. How many people have to die before people will realize what they’re doing is wrong? I just don’t get it. My best friend since 1st grade almost died too. It was awful. She got serious alcohol poisoning and had to get her stomach pumped. But just last weekend she went to a party and she still drank. I don’t understand people. I want to be able to make people listen to me, but I don’t know how. How can I show people that drinking is wrong and make an impact on them?
-worried and wants to help

Dear Worried and wants to help,
First of all, I want to applaud you for wanting to stop underage drinking at your school. Underage drinking is a serious problem that is not only dangerous, but also illegal. So what can you do to stop it? On your own, you should continue to stick to your guns! Tell your friends and peers that you disagree with their decision to drink underage and explain why by listing the dangers and consequences, of which there are countless. Try talking with your school and see if they can help you to form a club against drunk driving, possibly even in memory of the students that died. Check out The Century Council’s website to learn more about our programs and how you could implement them. Just remember: Keep your head up and don’t give up. It’s not an easy fight, but it is definitely one worth fighting!
~Katie

Katie,
I really hope you can help! I’m 13 years old and I’m really sad all the time because I don’t have any friends. My mom is really worried. I switched schools and joined lots of clubs. Nobody makes fun of me and some people say I’m nice, but I don’t really have friends. I never get invited to any parties and nobody ever calls me. Please help!! How can I make a friend?
-Depressed

Dear Depressed,
Sometimes making friends can be hard and daunting. It sounds like people like you which is a good start! Maybe the people in your new school are nervous about meeting new people, like yourself. Try taking the first step for them. Start conversation with people. Talk to the person in the seat next to you before class starts about the homework the night before, how harsh your teacher’s grading is, or that TV show you watched last night. When you see club members in the hall, ask what they thought of the last meeting. If people aren’t calling you, then pick up that phone and call them! Ask someone if they’d like to hang out sometime – take a trip to the mall, see a movie, go bowling – anything! Ask your mom if you can throw a party at home (maybe a pizza or movie party?) and invite a few people.
~Katie

Katie,
I really need your help. I’m a sophomore and I used to date this senior who became a drop out and he was doing drugs. My parents HATED him, but I went behind their back and secretly dated him for 3 months. We broke up in December because I found out he was cheating on me and he was lying to me. But I still can’t help but like him. It makes me sad when he doesn’t talk to me and I get really depressed and get in a “funk”. And after all this time, I keep seeing him. I know what I’m doing is wrong but I can’t help it. I always put him before everyone else, including my family. And that’s so hard to admit, but it’s true. I don’t try to, but it just turns out that way. What should I do?
-Confused

Dear Confused,
It’s going to take a lot of willpower to get over him, but that’s exactly what you have to do. You know that nothing good can come from hanging around him – in fact, things can only get worse if you continue to see him. You know it’s wrong to be with him and you feel horrible about it every time you let yourself. The next time you think about calling or seeing him, ask yourself how you’ll feel afterwards. Not good, right? You have to block him out. Ignore his phone calls, texts, and emails. Throw yourself into the things you love so that your mind is not on him, but on the positive things in your life. If you need an outlet, try keeping a journal or calling a friend. It’s going to be hard at first, but once you block him out of your life, you’re going to start feeling really good. It takes willpower and confidence to do it so you’re going to feel very accomplished once you do it! He’s not worth it. Don’t keep letting him think he is!
~Katie

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Girl Talk informs teen girls about the choices and consequences of underage drinking. Girl Talk’s website, www.grltlk.org, is a fun place for all things GIRL and encourages girls to live healthy and active lifestyles by providing them with the resources to do so.

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